Blog Podcast Speaking Opportunities
Resources
Professional Collaboration Things We Love CARE4AUTISM Donation Page

The Upside-Down World of Autism Parenting

Parenting a child on the autism spectrum has a way of transforming you in ways you never imagined—and often in ways you never asked for. I’ll be honest, raising Jordan has shaped every part of who I am. From the young woman I was when he was first diagnosed at five, to the mom, advocate, and coach I am today. It’s not just a journey; it’s a complete metamorphosis. For many of us, it feels like being tossed into an entirely different world—one we weren’t prepared for, with no roadmap to guide us.

I remember looking in the mirror in those early years, feeling like a stranger to myself. We never slept, I was always exhausted, my body didn’t feel like my own, and my mind was constantly racing with questions and worries. How would Jordan’s future look? Was I doing enough? Was I even capable of navigating this unexpected road? And what about Madison, how was having a brother with autism going to impact her?  I’d catch myself standing in rooms filled with other moms and feeling utterly alone, wondering how their lives seemed to move so smoothly while mine felt like an endless uphill climb.

It’s easy to lose yourself in the whirlwind of appointments, therapies, and sleepless nights. You find yourself mourning what you thought parenting would look like, while simultaneously celebrating the tiniest victories that most people wouldn’t even notice. I’ve learned to celebrate those moments because they are hard-earned and filled with more joy than I could have ever imagined. It might not be “typical,” but it’s beautiful in its own way.

There’s the indescribable joy of watching your child accomplish something you’ve worked on for months or even years. Those milestones—whether it’s learning to tie their shoes, expressing themselves more clearly, or simply trying something new—remind you why you keep going. It’s in those moments that you are reminded of their strength and the incredible privilege it is to be their mom.
 
I see this same transformation in the moms I work with. When they join, they are feeling overwhelmed and unsure if they’re cut out for this journey. And over time, I watch them grow. I see them find their own strength, their voice, their ability to advocate fiercely for their children while finding balance in their own lives. It’s not easy, and there are no shortcuts, but there is so much growth and beauty in the process.
 
Autism parenting changes everything. It forces you to confront your fears, your doubts, and your insecurities. It challenges your marriage, your health, your career, your relationships—even your faith. You question why your child—why not someone else’s? But through it all, it molds you into someone stronger, more compassionate, and more resilient than you ever thought possible.
 
There are days when it feels like too much, when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But there are also days when your child does something that takes your breath away, reminding you that this journey is worth every tear, every sleepless night, every battle. Because these kids—our kids—are incredible. They teach us about love, perseverance, and the importance of celebrating every single win.
 
So yes, this journey has turned me inside out and upside down. It’s pulled me away from who I used to be and pieced me back together into someone I’m proud to be. And that, my friend, is the magic of raising a child on the spectrum.
 
It’s not the life I planned, but it’s one I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.
 

This was written by Shannon Urquiola, Not Your Average Autism Mom

Shannon shares her lived experiences in hopes of creating a more inclusive world for our children and adults on the spectrum. 

Our mission is to equip families with resources, training, coaching, and community support. We believe if you are willing to expose yourself, your child, and your family to the world with kindness and honesty that compassion and understanding will follow.

She presents to organizations and businesses in person and virtually.

Download Media Package Now